For When I’m Cold

Four letters.  One number.  That’s the date today.  June 1.

Two more numbers.  60.  That’s the temperature outside.

I pull on socks and a sweatshirt.  It’s 60, but clouds hang low, moisture rises high, and mud oozes under my feet.  It’s cold.

And that’s when I have to be honest with myself.  I am cold deep down.  Far deeper than weather can reach.

I’m cold to the fact that our homeschooling year should be wrapping up.  That my Sabbath School lesson plan should be ready.  The weeds in the garden should be pulled on a daily basis.  The floors should absolutely be vacuumed.  The ironing should not be piled quite so high.   The kids should be writing thank you cards to Grandma who brings gifts.  Always.  I should have a definitive list made out by now for the Father’s day service.  I should take the rest of the post-garage sale stuff to the drop off-center.  And I could go on, but quite frankly, I’m too cold to all of it.

How, when you feel like you’re reading all the right books, when you’ve given of yourself more than usual, do you turn the page for the next calendar month and find yourself so….cold?

A child’s fears in the night have kept me from full rest, but with that, comes the viewing of that dawn’s first light.  Really.  It’s the blackish blue of morning, and it’s beautiful.  Restful.  The birdsong follows softly on the light, and I am so still, I feel completely alone.  I breathe deep.

“Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation.”  Psalm 68:19

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There it is.  The warmth begins.  The light dawns brighter.  Silly me.  Carrying around all this burden.  It’s a daily thing for Him.  And if He’s already got it, I should be still and be thankful.  I bow my head in gratitude and humiliation.  Let’s be honest.  I have nothing to give if I have not my Savior.  The world will harbor me in cold and line up the pointed fingers of should. But I am called blessed, and my God has already lifted the yoke, and warm hours are coming.

It’s true.  The Hebrew word for “daily” is yowm.  It’s from an unused root word meaning “to be hot”.  I’m laughing.  Me.  So cold in this northern part of Michigan, and so cold in the northern part of my head!!  Yowm.  The literal term meaning the warm hours.  Sunrise to sunset.  Daily!

I sober only for a moment as I watch Him carry that cross for me yet again.  He does it.  Daily.  He does it because He thinks that much of me.  Yes.  He’s that kind of guy.  He’s that kind of God.

“…the God of Israel is he that giveth strength and power unto his people.  Blessed be God.”  Psalm 68:35

In pure search,

~kathy

 


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